Tuesday, May 31, 2011

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Monday, May 30, 2011

Complete penis expresses desire to be Cordova, Alabama mayor in anticipated upcoming special election

In an interesting twist on local politics for Cordova, Alabama, as well as America in general, a lone penis has stated his desire to be the small Alabama town's next mayor. His goal is to fill the public service position now occupied by the soon-to-be-infamous Jack Scott.

This comes in response to a recent news story on how current
Mayor Jack Scott is refusing to let residents whose homes were destroyed by recent tornado activity use the FEMA-provided emergency shelters, while using these same trailers himself.

In a telephone interview with the hopeful penile mayor-elect, he's quoted as saying; “When I heard about what was happening to my neighbors here in Cordova, it just made sense,” says the vocal penis, who continues, “At least with me, the city will get more than just a dickhead. They're getting the whole shaft.” When asked if he has the fortitude to run for mayor of Cordova, Alabama he replies, “Sure. Campaigning takes balls. Take a look. I have those too.”

When asked what the man he's attached to thinks of the campaign, he replied, "Oh, come on! Everybody knows I'm the real brains here! Besides, once I start planning, he's blissfully unaware of everything else. You know how it goes."

Of course, no candidate has much of a chance without either faith in a candidate's ability, or experience. When asked if the popular penis had either experience or local support, he replied emphatically, “Mostly, my support comes from the sports-minded residents here. Lots of athletic support. As for experience, I've dicked others for years. So, yeah, I got what it takes.”

Will the city of Cordova, Alabama elect a penis for mayor? Will Mayor Jack Scott find himself recalled from the job? And, if not, what are the penis' back-up plans? “Whether Jack Squat (my little nick-name for him, y'know) is recalled or not, I'm running. I've a big boner for the position. The folks here are good people, and all they really want is someone who doesn't hate the middle or lower classes. They want someone who's soft on the budget, but straight up honest, and still hard on crime. As for a back-up plan, I can always go back into fast food management, right?”

Patriot Depot

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Sunday, May 29, 2011

Home Sweet Homies

Some pics from the exhibition the other night at Gallery 415, featuring rad Durban artists, Skullboy and Tokyo-Go-Go.

Really love the artwork on the walls in the gallery entrance...

Saturday, May 28, 2011

President Obama, and the rest of Washington, should do less for the American economy

Read that title again, if you need to. President Obama, and the rest of Washington, should do less for the American economy. How many more years will the American people tolerate dunderheads screwing all of us, from every direction? I came to realize this as I read an interesting blog on how little DC is doing for the American economy. I'm not the first to say this, either. Remember a guy named Reagan? More government is not the answer. It is the problem.

Whether any random reader is inclined to vote Democrat, Republican, or any other party, one thing is for sure; when it comes to business our government leaders couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the bottom of the heel. Anything not directly tied to getting re-elected seems too much of a challenge for our politicos of DC. The best government can offer is to create artificial bubbles, which are only created to mask the popped bubbles of previous industries.

Although I use Barack Obama's name, this topic isn't necessarily against him alone. The Republicans are just as inept as he, the only difference being most of them were shrewd enough to never call American business “the enemy.” But that's about it. Stimulus packages offered by government (in exchange for your vote, of course) are likened to a bandage for a gaping head wound. Once bureaucrats like Obama, Boehner, Pelosi, and Bahney Fwank start putting their grubby little dick-skinners on business, the best they can do is screw it up worse.

Bureaucrats stink of a protection racket. They claim that without them, we'll have “problem (a).” When in truth, without them, “problem (a)” would not have become a factor in the first place. When questioned or challenged about the legitimacy of their efforts, all they offer is some form of threat. From their ensconced positions, they deceive and fleece the simple-minded, for all they can get. And, having done so repeatedly, demand more. More taxes. More power. More of everything.

Were politicians to quit meddling in free-market dynamics, the artificially-stimulated economic sectors will surely bottom out on their own, and that's the idea. Let the market decide its own fate. Prices rise and fall, not according to executive mandates, but according to the law of supply and demand. Anything beyond that is nothing more than artificial, and unsustainable. Either we all deal with the realities of the market now, as difficult as it will be, or we all deal with a much greater economic nightmare later. Either way, it's coming, and our politicians need to get out of the way.

Dissenting opinions are welcome in the comments below. Speak your mind.

Patriot Depot

Friday, May 27, 2011

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